Esoteric Agenda Shirt

Nothing is connected. Please stop noticing the strings. This esoteric agenda shirt turns the grand conspiracy board into one elaborate illustration, with a mysterious puppetmaster controlling UFOs, government, surveillance cameras, satellites, and the individual caught in the middle of it all.

At the center sits the all-seeing eye inside a pyramid, surrounded by a web of influence rendered in a detailed retro conspiracy-poster style. Red puppet strings provide a sharp visual accent while tying every supposedly unrelated piece of the narrative back to the hand above. Is somebody actually pulling the strings, or are you simply connecting dots that officially do not exist?

Designed for conspiracy enthusiasts, UFO believers, surveillance skeptics, free thinkers, and anyone suspicious of conveniently simple explanations, the artwork combines several classic conspiracy themes without taking itself too seriously.

Wear this esoteric agenda shirt when you’re ready to question who controls the cameras, the satellites, the government, the saucers—and perhaps the person asking all these questions in the first place.

Nothing to see here. Everything is proceeding according to plan.

•Black shirt
•4.3 oz.
•60% combed ringspun cotton / 40% polyester jersey
•Pre-shrunk for reduced shrinkage
•CVC blend
•1x1 baby rib-knit set-in collar
•Shoulder to shoulder taping
•Side seamed
•No pattern

• 4.3 oz.
• 60% combed ringspun cotton/ 40% polyester jersey
• Pre-shrunk for reduced shrinkage
• CVC blend
• 1x1 baby rib-knit set-in collar
• Shoulder to shoulder taping
• Side seamed

Order your regular size for a normal fit. If you like your shirt loose or baggy, order a size up.

It's always recommended to wash your t-shirts in cold water only and dry on low heat or hang them to dry.

$5.95 flat rate shipping. Free shipping on orders over $49. We hate paying for shipping. Unfortunately the post office doesn't deliver for free, so we'll eat it if you buy a couple shirts from us.

Most orders are fulfilled within 2 business days and ship out immediately. Shipping normally takes 3-5 days. You'll get a tracking number so you can keep up on it.

We want you to love your new shirt. If you receive your new shirt damaged or defective, we will replace it immediately or give you a full refund.

We are real humans. If something is wrong, let us know asap and we will respond right away.